i'm tired

i'm tired of being nice to everyone
i'm tired of worrying that my daughter might get lice from her friends at church
i'm tired of dealing with everyone's problems but my own
i'm tired of people who make my wife feel guilty for not doing what the former pastor's wife did
i'm tired of grouchy old women who drive people away with their bitterness
i'm tired of knowing people are talking behind my back
i'm tired of being lied to
i'm tired of working hard and seeing no results
i'm tired of living in chaos
i'm tired of trying to help others out of addiction when i myself am an addict
i'm tired of the silence from God
i'm tired of poor listeners, dogmatism, and pharisees
i'm tired of medicating myself with all the wrong things
i'm tired of not seeing my daughter before she goes to bed because i'm needed by others
i'm tired of being needed at all
i'm tired of constantly being evaluated by others
i'm tired of the stench of poverty
i'm tired of trying to find evidence of God in the inner city and finding none
i'm tired of trying to change the world and make it a better place
i'm tired of people who smell bad, have no manners, and take me for granted
i'm tired of making sacrifices for others and not even being thanked
i'm tired of housework, homework, writing sermons, heading committees, driving people to places, changing dirty diapers, paying bills, fixing the internet, paying late fees on movies i never watched, trying to be a perfect father and perfect husband and perfect pastor and perfect Christian. All I want to do is sit down and watch the Olympics.
i'm tired.