Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Morning of Mourning

The soft pitter-patter of rain
Awakens me this day
Bringing comfort 
On a lonely morning of mourning 

The soft pitter-patter of footsteps 
Once awakened me
Bringing comfort 
To an entitled, haughty man

Now the snuggles and kisses
That greeted me each day
Have been silenced
To the ears of this broken man

My heart beats in my chest
Yet it is somewhere north of here
My breath continues 
Though I oft wish it would cease

On this morning of mourning 
Alone in my cell
I cry out to You in weak hope,
“Restore, redeem this tragic day!”

Gift and grace You offer to me
Through a soft bed
Through a message from a friend 
But can this stone heart receive?

My daughters, my daughters 
I long and ache for you 
Tis an ache as constant as
The hardness of my stubborn will

“Surrender to the Good Lord,”
My mama whispers to me.
Teach me to accept the tears
and the rain
and all forms of pitter-patter
and the love of friends 
and the agony of grief
and the grace of God
and the deafening silence 

Graciously grant me the grace
To say with truth
“The Lord gives and takes away.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.”

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

The Rotten Believer: A Poem

Faith, a fleeting thing,
Is a mist that appears for no reason 
Vanishing at the slightest happenstance 
Unwieldy, uncontrollable 
A ray of sunshine peeking through clouds
A gift granted momentarily from on high
Then removed

God gives and God takes away
Making me a doubter for Him
Disbelief, my closest friend
Save only for the Giver of disbelief 

Shifting sand
Weakness and fragility 
Compels me to echo this truth:
Salvation belongs to God

God, you will me to be
and to be a doubter for you,
A frail, small, rotten believer
Thy will be done

Sunday, November 5, 2017

The Dilemma of the Human Heart

Just gonna drop this marvelous quote right here:

Love has no middle term; either it destroys, or it saves. All human destiny is this dilemma. This dilemma, destruction or salvation, no fate proposes more inexorably than love. Love is life, if it is not death. Cradle; coffin, too. The same sentiment says yes and no in the human heart. Of all the things God has made, the human heart is the one that sheds most light, and alas! most night.

- Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Film Review: Take Shelter (2011)

Watch Take Shelter before reading this.  The less you know about the film the better.  It is an event that happens to the viewer.



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The 2011 film Take Shelter directed by Jeff Nichols must be one of the most memorable and haunting films I have ever seen and should someday be considered a classic of American cinema.  Even without any consideration of the stunning visuals, eerie score, and incredible acting by Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain, Take Shelter compels the viewer's attention solely due to its universal and mythic themes.  In essence the film is a retelling of the story of Noah's Ark:  a storm is coming, take heed, prepare, and risk being considered insane by others.

Much of the genius of Take Shelter is the fact that, until the very end, we as viewers have no idea what kind of story we are watching.  Like the protagonist Curtis we don't know if the visions and dreams of coming apocalypse are valid or if they are symptoms of mental illness, the latter theory given credibility by the fact that Curtis is in his mid-thirties, the same age that his mother was when she was hospitalized for paranoid schizophrenia.  Curtis himself suspects that he is going crazy and seeks out medical help, yet he cannot shake the feeling of impending doom that keeps overwhelming him.

The maxim "to thine own self be true" rests at the foundation of the moral paradox faced by Curtis and by us as viewers.  Do we trust our own experiences or do we chalk up our thoughts to mental illness, trusting the wisdom of the larger human community?  Whether you believe the experiences of Curtis or not depends upon your own judgment about what type of story is unfolding before our eyes:  Is Curtis right and the rest of the world wrong?  Or is Curtis insane?  We don't know... until the final scene.

The parallels with the mythic story of Noah and the ark seem obvious, but the myth itself bears careful reflection for us all.  In the Old Testament water typologically represents chaos and death, whereas the structure of the ark represents order and safety.  Noah, because he is faithful to the voices he is hearing from "God," not only saves himself -- scorning the shame of his neighbors -- but also saves his family and animal creation.

This brings to the fore a perplexing theological question about the role of the prophet.  The prophetic voice always stands outside of the community precisely because she is committed to that community.  The prophet is frequently rejected by her hometown precisely because she has grown to be "unorthodox" according to communal and traditional standards.  The true prophet overruns the tables of the moneychangers, speaks words that others hate to hear, and decides to live according to the "inner light" rather than by merely "falling in line."  The prophets can be described as the loyal opposition because their deep love for their own home community compels them to become a "voice in the wilderness."  Yet the true prophet loathes her own calling because she is constantly aware that she just might be insane and profoundly wrong; she also fears her own pride and proclivity for megalomania.  Thus, the true prophet responds to God's call as Moses did:  "Please choose someone else for I am slow of speech!"  As Caedmon's Call writes from the perspective of the prophet in their remarkable song "Can't Lose You,"

But maybe I missed the nose right on my face
For what's just past it
And maybe I have the gift that everyone speaks so high of
Funny how nobody wants it

The prophet is called to a life of suffering as well, and her greatest suffering is the ridicule and insults of the community that she loves so dearly.  The true prophet fears shame more than she fears death because bringing shame upon the community is the heaviest cross that she can possibly bear.  Yet an inner sense of calling compels her to speak out, even when she is tempted by the idea that a simple, quiet life would be far easier.  Curtis stands as the prototype for a prophet in this case because he follows where his own mind leads, even if it might involve the scorn of friends, family, and community.

What a parable!  Noah's ark/Take Shelter wrestles with deep, universal themes.