A Troubled Glance

I know it's not the title of this blog, God, but I have to give you a troubled glance right now. I cry to you from the pit of despair and I ask for You. I need a Friend -- someone who can watch the kids for me or clean the house or write my sermon for me or go and visit all the needy people who depend on me. I need You, God, but I don't know where you are. If I did know, I'd spend my last penny to buy a plane ticket to get there. My girls are sick... again. More coughing, runny noses, and crying at night. My wife is burned out. Too much work, too little appreciation, not enough time off. She never gets a day off, ever. I'm overwhelmed too. I have people all around me who need me to counsel them because they're are so screwed up, but who's gonna counsel me? (I'm just as screwed up as any of them). I have sermons to write and practice, books to read and theological thoughts to think, board meetings to prepare for, vision to cast, staff members to keep happy, enemies who need to be reconciled, sour old ladies who need a word of rebuke spoken to them, a charity house across the street that is on the verge of going under for lack of finances. At home I have dishes to do, babies to bathe and change and discipline and wake up with early and make lunch for and clean up after and put to bed. When am I supposed to take time for my wife? When do we get to spend time just loving each other? Not this year, I guess. Maybe next. Most of all I need you, God, because when you are far off I am filled with emptiness and despair in my gut. Normally I can function and deal with all of the stuff as I run around a million miles per hour, but not when things aren't right with You. So where are you? Can you give me a call? I need someone just to tell me that it's gonna be okay and that I'm not a failure and that all my striving is not in vain. Well, I gotta go. Looks like I can't pray right now. My daughter is eating chalk. Have your people talk to my people and we'll get together sometime.