Obsessive Introspection

"Is there not quite too much danger, dear Brother, of Christians absorbing themselves with their own experience, to the exclusion of zealous efforts for the salvation of others? I fear that this is a snare of Satan, even with some who would be fully devoted to God." - Phoebe Palmer, Letter to Rev. George W. Woodruff, 1846.

Like Palmer, I have noticed a tendency within myself which I believe I have inherited from the holiness movement. It is a tendency to obsessive introspection -- a constant and persistent focus inward on my own spiritual pulse. Indeed, when I weigh the amount of time, thought, prayer, and energy I spend upon the improvement of Greg Coates in comparison to the time, thought, prayer, and energy I spend on the reformation of society, I am ashamed.

But perhaps, as St. Francis suggests in his famous prayer, "It is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are raised again to eternal life." Or as St. Paul declared, "I wish that I myself were cursed and cut off for the sake of my brothers, the nation of Israel!" I'm thinking that it is high time I stop caring so much about the state of Greg Coates' soul and started caring even more for the condition of my family or church or friends or country. And perhaps I will find within that shift to a focus on the Other that my own salvation is thrown in on the side.

How much time did Jesus devote to enhancing his own character, his own soul, his own personal relationship to the Father? Undoubtedly, it was an important element in his life as we can see evidenced by his frequent retreats to mountainsides. But my initial impression is that the gospels are focused much more on his self-giving, Others-centered life. I believe the holiness churches of my day need to realize this. We must turn from our inwardness and instead strive for the perfection of the Other. This is what Lewis calls "the weight of glory." Only in such "others-centeredness" can individual sanctification ever take place.